It’s an extremely important thing and such a huge topic.
I’ve felt the need to write about this for a very long time. I’ve taken notes over the years and had it all in my head, but I’ve never put it out there for the world to see, but I feel it’s time to do so.
There are so many different perspectives on self-love and I feel that “up yourself, better than everyone” is something that comes to a lot of people’s minds, but it’s really quite the opposite. Loving yourself is not about walking into a room and thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s more about walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else at all.
Comparison is so, so prevalent in our society. She/He’s better looking than me, she/he is skinnier/has a better physique than me, she/he has more money than me, and the list goes on and on. But seriously, if you want to ruin your life, just compare yourself to everyone else.
Do you know why comparing yourself to everyone is the most pointless way to absolutely kill your self-esteem and make you feel miserable? Because no two people are the same. That’s it, simple as that. You are not the same person and that is fucking incredible. You shouldn’t be putting yourself down, you should be owning it. Owning the fact that there is no one else out there quite like you.
Have you ever slowed down and really focused on the way your mind works? Really caught yourself out on your negative thoughts? If you have and are currently working on this, well done to you! This practice can be quite daunting to begin with but once you’re regularly watching your thoughts and pulling yourself up on them, you begin to realise how incredible your mind is and how in control you really are. I strongly encourage you to start noticing your negative, comparative thoughts and pulling yourself up on them. When you begin to do this, you can replace the negative thought with a positive one, such as turning “she/he is so much smarter than I am”, to “she/he is so smart, as am I” or “she/he is so smart and such an inspiration, what can I do to increase my knowledge?” You will be surprised at how beautiful and positive your life will become.
Meditation is another beautiful practice that helps to calm your mind too. If you’ve never tried it before and have thought about it, then absolutely go for it! There’s often group meditations that you may find in your local area or you can gather thousands of easily accessible online resources to try. Other natural remedies to calm your mind and soothe your soul include life coaching, reiki, massage, acupuncture or even some alone time with a warm cup of lemon and apple cider vinegar (which are all wonderful for your body as well!)
Far too much time is spent hating things about ourselves and waiting until we are “perfect” before we will allow that love for ourselves – but let’s face it, if you don’t love yourself the way you are now, nothing you do will ever be enough in your own eyes. Focus on loving yourself and loving those around you. Stop wasting so much time and energy hating all those little things that really do not matter.
Practising self-care every single day is so, so important. I know this from my personal journey to really take time out for yourself and appreciate how much your mind, body and soul do for you every day. Write a list of all the things you love to do that really replenish you and re-fill your energy tank. This could be having a nice bath with candles, reading a book, laying in the sun, meditating, exercising, nourishing your body with whole foods, going to a yoga class or anything your soul desires. Gosh the list could go on and on, but writing a list of what lights up YOUR soul will help you on your own personal journey.
Write a list of affirmations to say to yourself every day, focus on the positives about yourself and about your life then everything will begin to change. Your entire view of the world and yourself will change completely. By repeating affirmations to yourself every day, you are creating new neural pathways in your brain. You will create new and improved, positive ways of thinking and eventually your negative thoughts will drop away. This is because you are no longer giving power to those thoughts that drag you down. You are literally changing the way your brain functions, how incredible is that? YOU are incredible!
In five or ten years’ time, will you regret not focusing on the things that are truly important? Really enjoying life and appreciating everything you do have. Focus on your self-love and practice self-care every single day and you will see and feel the benefits. Nobody knows how long they have left so let love and kindness pour out of you every single day.